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Breaking up is {not so} hard to do!

December 31, 2011

The number one all-time most-viewed blog post of 2011.......

My open letter to Kim Kardashian about her wedding/divorce was the most viewed post of all time.  I was shocked to see the numbers of daily page views after I posted this.....I wonder if Kim herself saw it too {giggle}!  

Tales of a Hockey Wife will return after the new year with new tales for 2012....

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read my blog, send lovely comments, and give me a reason to keep exposing my true inner-geek to all of you!  

Are you a peeping tom?

This post was my second most-viewed post of 2011....and I can only think about the poor guy who typed in "Inside a woman's locker room" in their Google search hoping to see naked women and came up with this.....

Speaking of gym locker rooms.....are you getting ready to start that exercise regimen this New Year?

Tonight at the stoke of midnight, my all time most-viewed blog post of 2011 will post....can you guess which post caused the most traffic?

Want to see my underwear?

December 30, 2011

2012 is fast approaching, and with it comes Tales of a Hockey Wife's one year I decided to share with you the top three most viewed blog posts of 2011.

Who knew that underwear would be such a hot topic?  

Check back tomorrow to see the second most-viewed post from Tales of a Hockey Wife!

Friends...with benefits?

December 13, 2011

Look who now has a Facebook Page!!

You can find me under the name Hockey Tales

Do you want to be my friend?

Why I didn't save my first car for marriage....

December 3, 2011

My first car was a cream yellow Toyota Tercel hatchback...with orange stripes on the side.  I bought it from my neighbor when I was sixteen for $250.00.

I can recall the day I went over and handed the money I had been saving to my neighbor.  The car was a standard, which I had never been able to drive.  Sure I had played around with other people's stick shifts, but I had never driven it the entire way.

Awkwardly I backed my "new" car out of the neighbor's driveway...and pulled it into my driveway.  I practiced reversing and driving.  In and out of my driveway I went over and over and out, in and out.   Afterwards, I sat in my car and looked around at  all of the options this car had.  Seeing that it was my first car....I can remember that day well.  

My car had a sunroof that could be "popped" in and out. (For those of you who are too young to literally had to pop the thing out and store it in your back seat or trunk).  I also had a tape cassette player in my stereo and a glovebox that locked.  Since the car was made in 1979...that was about it for the options.

But it was my first car and it got me where I needed to go...although I didn't quite arrive there in the style I would later become accustomed too.  In the beginning, there was definitely a learning curve when it came to driving the standard.  But over time, the more I did it...the better I got and the more I enjoyed it.

A year and a half later, I got tired of my first car...and decided I needed a better car.  Then I saw a white Volkswagen Cabriolet parked in an empty lot with a For Sale sign...and I became weak in the knees.  Although I had only driven my Toyota at the time...I had always fantasized about owning a convertible!  I sold my Toyota and went home with that cabriolet within two days.  I know that seems like I was moving too fast...but I couldn't control my desire!

This car had so many more options than my previous car.  Leather seats and a roof that came completely down.  Again it was a standard, but that was an option I decided I liked and was glad to have again.  I loved driving around in that car, and I can honestly say driving that car compared to my first car was a far more satisfying experience.  I was sure I would have this car forever...

Three years later, my convertible was not as reliable as I had hoped it would be in the beginning.  Sure it was good to drive, but the time and energy I had to put into this car was not worth those moments of bliss.  I traded this car in for another.

When I look back at all of the cars I have driven....they have all been different, but have given me some great memories.  Each time I get a new car, I opt for new options...or keep some of the same.  Now as I am older...I drive a minivan around town. My minivan has all the options I need, but sometimes I look back and wonder what it would be like to once again drive a convertible.   But I know that my minivan is reliable and the car for me.

Why am I telling you about my "first car"?  Because I am a true believer that cars are like sex.  We all have memories of our "first car" and our 'first time".  We probably look back upon that first car...much like our first time having sex.  As great as that first car seemed...I wouldn't want it to be the only car I have ever driven.  Just like sunroofs, heated leather seats, and power doors...there are many "options" when it comes to sex...and you need to experience some of these "options" to find out what works for you.

Although my convertible was AMAZING...I know I can be just as satisfied with the power-doors in my minivan.  I once had heated seats (I believe you should try everything once)...but it was just an experimental phase I was going through. I am not ashamed of the times I rented a car for a day...and never looked back when I turned it in the following morning...maybe I was just using that rental car for my own personal needs?  Of course I must point out that when driving random cars, safety is number one....ALWAYS USE A SEATBELT!!

I applaud those who saved up their money until marriage before buying a car of their own....there must be joy in knowing you are the first one to drive the car, and there are no car payments attached.  But how do you know that the car you are buying without a test-drive will be the most satisfying experience?  Then again, if you have never driven another will never know what you could be missing.

Which brings me to this....
Have you seen the promos for this new show?  I am so excited I could pee in my pants!  This looks like pure reality trash...and I love it!

Check out the promo for the show....

TLC had me at the kiss...I will be definitely tuning into The Virgin Diaries Sunday night at 9/8 c.  Will you?

Just to make it even more exciting...I will be hosting a live chat right here on Tales of a Hockey Wife!! We can laugh, shudder and commentate our thoughts as we watch the premier of this new show.....

So come back tomorrow night Sunday December 4, 2011 at 9:00 pm (Eastern)  8:00 pm (Central) and locate the Live chat on my sidebar.....pour a glass of wine and meet some great bloggers while watching The Virgin Diaries on TLC.  If you don't have access to TLC come chat anyway. 

Can you really love your belly?

December 1, 2011

Maybe some of you watched the Victoria Secret Fashion Show the other night...and are now feeling as though you should be looking like this.....
For some reason...this "fashion show" does not make me stop and wonder if they have that bra and pantie set in my size...instead it makes me feel as though I should not be wearing that at all!

We see the photos in the magazines and catalogs...then we feel inadequate because our stomachs are not toned, taut and flat.  We feel ashamed to wear a swimsuit to the pool on a hot day...and we torment ourselves with diets and binges.

I am just as guilty...If you go back through my blog you will find many instances where I beat up on myself because I don't look like I stepped out of the pages of a lingerie ad.  I have even been known to photoshop a hockey mask onto Janet Gretzky's body and "try" to pass it off as my own {GASP}!

Do you ever wonder what pictures would look like if photoshop had never been invented? Oh wait...I think it would look something like this...
Bathers by Pierre-Auguste Renoir
I wonder what Renoit's painting would look like today?

No wonder we all feel so bad about our bodies....we are being tricked into believing there is something wrong with ourselves.  The reality is that there are a lot more of "us" than of "them"!!

Have you seen this yet?  It has been all over the internet the past few days....
Go on over to the XOJANE Real Girl Project and check out the 75 bellies proudly on display.  These are actual bellies that have not been photoshopped.  They represent what a majority of women's stomachs really look like.  

Then join me for my new rally.....


Tis the Season to Spray Pepper Spray...

November 27, 2011

Please forgive my absence, but I have not been feeling too great.  Seeing that I usually get sick when:
  • My husband is on a road trip
  • Our schedule for the week is packed with activities.
Thankfully Canada celebrates Thanksgiving in I didn't have to worry about cooking a huge meal for anyone.  I did celebrate a bit by wearing my pajamas for most of the day.  I tried watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade...but that made me feel like a big sloth.   It does not feel appropriate to watch a parade in your pajamas on a regular Thursday morning...while everyone outside your door is either working or being productive.  So I sat in my pajamas and watched an episode of The Real housewives of Beverly Hills.  Much more acceptable!  

Because Canada celebrated Thanksgiving last month...there is not too much ado about Black Friday.  Not too many people standing in lines at 3:00 am when they are expected at work at 8:00 am! 

So let's talk about Black Friday.  Do you participate in this frenzy each year? Today I want to talk about my thoughts on this ridiculous annual event.  


I certainly can tell you my mom never shopped on Black Friday.  She was a single mother, and we were lucky to have the gifts we did on Christmas morning.  Santa always filled our stockings with shampoo and conditioner, bubble bath, razors, toothbrushes and toothpaste, hairspray and hair clips.  These were basic necessities that my mother would have had to purchase anyway...but they were gifted to us as Christmas presents.  We would receive clothes we needed, hats and gloves we needed, and a few toys we wanted.  Never once do I look back on my childhood and feel like I was unloved or under-gifted. 

Since when did Santa put everything you asked for under the tree? These mothers are feeding the "I want" monster...and giving it dessert as well! 

If you are one of those people who slept out, waited with a huge group of people in a parking lot, or pushed through a door and acted all crazy on Black Friday...then I expect you to have more compassion for those willing to do the same in your local downtown park.  Whether you share the same beliefs or both have experienced the hardship of finding a restroom to use in such a big crowd! 

As consumers, we are paying enough of a mark-up...that they can mark items way down and still make a profit?  How can you not buy a new 46" flatscreen TV to replace your small 38" flatscreen TV you bought last year on Black is 20% off! Buy 2 shirts, get the 3rd for 50% may only need one shirt, but if you spend $32.00 more, you will get two shirts you don't need.  What is better than one Buzz Light Year toy that is 45% off? of them!


If you live in Arkansas and get a waffle-maker from your Cousin only cost her $2.00.  But she went to war and back to get it for you!

On a side note, to the woman in the blue should forget about the waffle-makers and head over to aisle six...the belts are on sale too! 


Unemployment is at a record high.  Gas prices are at a record high. Home foreclosures are at a record high.  Credit card debt is at a record high....yet according to this article, this year's Black Friday sales broke a record and are up 7% from last year.  I cannot help wonder about the 11.4 billion dollars this article says was spent on Black Friday.  How much of that 11.4 billion was put on credit be worried about after the holidays are over.  

Since I choose to stay at home with my children, we are a family that relies on one paycheck to pay our bills.  We are fortunate that my husband is able to make a good living in Hockey.  But living in Canada (high-cost-of-living)...we are feeling a crunch this Holiday many of you.  Why do people feel the need to go into debt to give presents that are not needed?  

My children do not need any more toys.  They both have iPods, they both have more clothes than they can wear in a month, their coats and snow pants from last year still fit, they have gloves and hats to keep them warm, and the wii has an inch of dust on it.  What my kids do need is the thrill of staying up too late with their cousins on Christmas eve, too much egg nog, homemade sugar cookies and sticky candy canes, and a small present under the tree to keep the magic of Santa alive for another year

So forgive me if I sound like a Scrooge....but the last time I checked, Christmas was a time to spread peace and joy...not spread pepper spray!

(even that is discounted this Holiday Season! )

The one where the mom got sick....

November 19, 2011

For those who read this, and really know will know that as soon as I start losing my voice, I am getting sick.  Well I am now losing my voice!

I have nodules on my vocal chords (the things famous singers have surgery to remove all of the time).  Well I am not famous, nor am I a I just have to deal with them.  As soon as I have any irritation in my throat...the nodules flair up and I lose my voice.  My mom says she always knew when I was getting sick, because my voice would disappear.  

My throat is sore, my nose is running, and I feel a little under the weather.  But the worse part is losing my voice!  I have been known to lose my voice for weeks at a time!  Thankfully I have my annual physical this maybe I can get to the bottom of this illness before it gets out of control.

...But I really wish I had my voice!

Today is the last day....

November 17, 2011

Today is the last day for votes over at Circle of Moms for the Top 25 Canadian Mom Blogs!  

I am asking each of you to please take a moment to click on the above link and scroll down to Tales of a Hockey Wife (currently number 17).  When you find my on the vote button.  That is it, that is all there is to it.  

I am so appreciative of all of you who have already voted today, and for those who voted these past two weeks as well.  What started as a creative way for me to laugh at my life as a wife and mother...has turned into more than I could imagine.  Thank you for all of your comments...I love them! 

Remember, tonight at 8:00 EST we will be chatting on Tales of a Hockey Wife!  Stop by and introduce yourself! 

November 16, 2011

Last week I hosted my first chat on my blog.  A few ladies joined me and before you knew it, three hours had passed.  We chatted about a little bit of everything.  Isn't it funny how people who have never met can have so much in common? I am anxious to meet a few more of you.  Whether you have a specific question for me, or just want to get in on the conversation...who knows where it may lead.

Join me on Thursday November 17 at 8:00 pm (EST)....

Come to Tales of a Hockey Wife and locate the chat box on my sidebar.  Sign in however you would like...and start chatting.  Please introduce yourself so we all know how to address you for specific questions and comments (to make things easier).  

To get things started, I have thought of a random question to start the discussion.


Getting to know you...again!

November 15, 2011

After three weeks on a road trip (read here to see how I feel about those) husband came home!

My husband arrived home around two in the morning, and the kids were more than excited to see him when they woke up for school!  It was like Christmas morning!  Our son woke up first and promptly came into our room and climbed right between my husband and I to cuddle with his father.  I was pushed to the side of the bed to hang over the not to intrude of father-son time!

My daughter awoke next...and was so anxious to show her father the two teeth she lost while he was away.  Skype cannot do justice to two gaping holes in one's mouth!  There were hugs, and cuddles and a lot of "I missed you" from both kids.

My husband is usually gone in the mornings, even on days he has practice.  I have a developed a routine for the kids which allows us to get to the bus stop in a timely manner...and also keep me from needing a short stay in a padded room.

7:45 - Both kids get up, use the washroom, and get dressed.

8:00 - Downstairs for breakfast.  Kids will eat while I pack lunches, and organize backpacks.

8:15 - Upstairs for teeth brushing, hair brushing, and sock application...

8:30 - Last minute necessities and free time (television)

8:40 - Shoes and coats on...then out the door.

If we keep with this timeline, we all walk out the door with smiles on our faces and can have a nice walk to the bus stop.  If we are not on this schedule, it could look a little like this....

With my husband home can guess that our routine was tossed out the window.  At 8:15 our kids were still eating their breakfast.  When I told them to get up to brush teeth, my husband pointed out that they were still eating.  So I pointed out that is the way it works in the morning, and if that means rumbly-tummies, they will know better the next morning.

 I often wonder if my husband knows what it really takes to get two kids ready in the morning!

Of course both kids were fawning over their dad.  My son wouldn't let me put his socks on him, my daughter wanted her father to walk her to the bus, and it was requested that my husband meet them at the bus after school.  Basically, all the hard work I put into the last three weeks to feed and care for the kids was forgotten....Mom Who?

You know when you return from a vacation...there are a couple of days of decompression?  Well my husband experiences that when he returns from a long road trip, and I try to be understanding.  He is looking for a home-cooked meal...while I am desperate to go out and have a meal served to me.  Three weeks on the road can be quite tiring...But three weeks home with the kids can drive you insane!

Another thing we deal with when my husband returns home is once again getting used to living with each other.  I call it a "get -to-know-you-again" period.

For the last three weeks, we have each had the luxury of sleeping alone in a bed.  Now we once again have to have bed courtesies...such as:
  • Turning out the bedside light so the other can go to bed.
  • Not sleeping on a diagonal with the blankets wrapped every which way.
  • Making the bed each morning (read this)
  • Keeping snores, and other rude sounds to a minimum.

When my husband returned, I was completely caught up on there is a pile of three weeks worth of dirty laundry.  Thankfully the little elves will come and wash, dry and fold it!  I would feel bad if my husband had to put a load in! 

Bedtimes for the kids:
  • Thankfully, I now have help when it comes to putting the kids to bed.
  • But that means we are also back to this silly game!
  • My husband might figure out that sometimes I let my kids stay up on the weekends until they pass out wherever they happen to be.  
This is a picture of my son asleep in a closet!
The suitcases from his road trip will sit on our bedroom floor...until I announce..."I WILL GET IT!"

To be honest, I am glad to have my husband home...

When I first met my husband, I was having a discussion with someone who had been married and divorced.  He was in a business that took him away from his family for months at a time, and the marriage ended because of it.

We were discussing how my then-boyfriend (now husband) traveled often.  I was quick to point out that we were both independent people, so it was just fine.  He then gave me the best advice that I can pass on to someone who is in a relationship...

" marry someone because you are dependent on them.  A relationship is based on that dependence.  When you both become independent of each other, that is when you no longer have a relationship.....NEVER LOSE THAT DEPENDENCE!"

I think of this advice often.  While my husband was away these past three weeks...I taught both kids to ride their bikes, I painted the basement stairwell, I organized the garage and hung the bikes on the walls, I rearranged furniture, and a few other things. If you were to ask someone, they would say I am pretty independent while my husband is away.  But I always remember that I am dependent on him, and that dependence is the glue that makes a marriage like mine work!

Memo to husband...I need you to remember to take the garbage out on Friday!!

A, B, C, D, EE...

November 13, 2011

I had a conversation last night, and we discussed pregnancy.

I can honestly say I enjoyed both of my pregnancies!  My first pregnancy was textbook....except for the sixty pound weight gain! If you recall this will know that I read What to Expect When You Are Expecting for my entire pregnancy.  I do wish they had a What to Expect AFTER Your Pregnancy book.

I was fat for the entire year I nursed my daughter...that was not fun.  Since my daughter was born in April, I had the joy of being post-baby-fat throughout summer.  I purchased a few pairs of linen pants and some long sleeved shirts at Old Navy...three sizes larger than my norm.  I wore ugly nursing bras, and you guessed it....Packaged underwear that could hold a donkey's ass...only it was my ass they had to hold! (click here for that story) 
It would be 95 degrees out, and people would ask me...
"Aren't you hot in that long-sleeved top and those pants?"
"Oh, no!  I am just fine thank you!" ( I would lie as sweat dripped down my back)

I managed to lose all that weight and then some, immediately after I was finished breast-feeding.  I also lost a lot of my chest, and for the first time I could button up cardigan was bliss!
Pregnancy number two was a bit different.  I was sick the entire nine months.  Not physically sick...I just felt like I needed to throw-up the entire day.  I think that is worse than actually throwing-up!  I was a bit more careful with my diet (easy when nothing sounded good), and thankfully...sushi is not too fattening! (Read about my sushi craving here)

I also was teaching up to seven fitness classes each week until the week before I gave birth.  Yes, I did push-ups, squats and rode a SPIN bike until my 38th week of pregnancy.  I only gained 32 pounds. I figured if I lost 60 pounds, 32 pounds would be a breeze.
I never really wore any of my maternity clothes for my second pregnancy....I was able to wear one size larger low-rise jeans.  So after the birth of my son, I knew I would need different nursing bras....seeing that my pregnancy-body was much different this time around.
So off I went to the local maternity store to buy some nursing bras, and this time I wanted some pretty ones!
I asked to be measured, so I could get the perfect fit, and guess what size I was...38EE!!!  You are not hallucinating, that was the size of my post-pregnancy breasts!  I am usually a 36C...and after my daughter I went down to a 34B!  A 38EE was unimaginable!
I swallowed my pride and asked to try on a 38EE nursing bra.  I was told they would have to special order that size!  WTF???  This was a maternity store, and they needed to special order a bra for me?
I was in luck, Elle McPherson had just come out with a line for her Pea in The Pod collection and it came in a 38EE...
"Would you like to try it on?" I was asked.
"I guess"...(What did Elle McPherson know about being over-weight after a baby anyhow?)
"There is black or hot pink"
("Come again?" "Black or Hot Pink?"  "No Neutral colors?")
"I guess I will try black, as it is more slimming!  How much are they?"
"$128.00 each"
"WTF?" also known as..."Never mind, I will pass."
As I put my way too small nursing bra on....I slowly walked out of the store empty-handed and decided to quit nursing. (I look back now, and I think that was just one of the reasons I didn't nurse my son.  I also was suffering from a small case of postpartum depression...but that is a long story I will not share now!)

If I had been one of those women that lost all their baby-weight immediately after pregnancy, I would probably had one more child.

However....remember that 32 pounds I thought I would lose so quickly?  I still have ten of those pounds which I have held onto for the past four years as a small keepsake...

I need your help!  Please be sure to visit my site and click on the button below (or at the top of my blog)...(or on the side of my blog)...and locate Tales of a Hockey Wife and VOTE.  Voting is open until November 17...and you can vote once every 24 hours!

I would greatly appreciate your help and your vote....